On My Way
by skysplits19
Summary: With a career Shingyouji had been offered, Misu realizes he might stop the young man achieveing it with his own choice he set the young man free, will Misu's scarifce would be all worth it, how can Shingyouji handle all the stress with new life in a new place, new friends and new people that he will meet.
1. Goodbye

**AUTHOR"S NOTES: **After almost a week, I decide to go back to write something, I think i became depressed after watching so many sad movies, I think I would need to research more about the story since this is the first time I won;t use Tokyo as my setting, I was thinking what if Shingyouji will learn to be independent without Misu on his side. This story would more focus on Shingyouji instead of the pair his hardships trials, people who would take interest in him and who would make his life a living hell (not totally) I will just first post the first chapter then would keep on updating once I have time.

* * *

After finishing college in the University, Shingyouji is now ready to face his new future, like what Gii and Misu had recommended him; he tried to apply for a job in New York since they know how Shingyouji had achieved in his college days and Giii would like also the young man to be part of his company, but he still need to give his credits and resume. Shingyouji excited waits for the response and one day in their apartment the mail arrives for Shingyouji he hurriedly get it and opened it while Misu is eating his breakfast.

"Arata-san the mail finally arrived; I hope this brings good new."

"Don't be too excited, Saki already assured you a place there."

Shingyouji ignored his older lover and opened the envelope. Upon reading it his eyes got wide upon the contents of the paper.

**Shingyouji-Kanemitsu,**

**We are glad to tell you upon seeing your résumé and credits we would like to tell you that we'll be giving you a slot to be part of the Saki Corporation, you'll go under training for 2 years and we'll be the one to arrange all your fees coming here in America. We'll look forward having you to our Company. Inside this envelope is your ticket going to New York, Gii, Takumi will leave in a week.**

**Saki-Ryouichi**

"Arata-san I'll go to New York I…." Shingyouji's joy was cut when he saw his lover being quiet. The young man went near him to see if he is okay.

"I am happy for you; after all I was the one who told Saki to give you this opportunity."

"Anou what if you'll come with us, I mean you can have your practice in America as well I do want you to be with me because if not I'll just decline this offer and tell Saki-senpai to just stay here in Japan with you."

"You will do that Shingyouji?" Misu asked him.

"That's how I love you Arata-san." Says Shingyouji as he leaned to kiss his lover in his lips. As he get up to change his clothes. Misu suddenly took something out of his pocket which is a letter he never told to his lover and crumpled it.

_If Shingyouji will stay everything he done will be wasted I guess it's time…._

As the young man is finishing fixing their beds, Misu entered and approached his young lover.

"Shingyouji how about we spent this whole week together like, go to amusement park, or museum or even in a beach for at least two days." Misu suddenly said to him.

"Eh?"

"You don't want to?"

"I'm just surprised you're not that type of person who would ask me out suddenly."

"Just say yes."

"Yes I will." Shingyouji smiled at his lover and hugged him.

Misu and Shingyouji enjoy the week, they go to the amusement park where the older man bought him lots of stuff toy he won in games and, visit the planetarium which made the young man delighted and within the remaining days they went on a beach and just happily spend the time together without Shingyouji knowing what's on the mind of his older lover. Upon returning on their apartment Shingyouji exhausted from the trip sleep soundly while Misu just keeps staring at him.

It was 5am Shingyouji turns around to and got awake when he notice Misu is not beside him, he suddenly saw him preparing a luggage.

"Arata-san?"

"Get dress we're going for a trip."

Shingyouji, curious but excited decide to dress up and follow the older man outside. As they both entered the car, Shingyouji suddenly notice it was all the suitcase that was inside the car has his names label on it.

"You're on the 7am to New York. Saki and Hayama will meet you there and they're gonna help you look for your own apartment. You're gonna spend 2 years of your life there and you've never even set foot in the place. Here's your money so you can start there for now, mother and father ask me to give these to you." Misu said to him looking at his confused lover.

"But I already told you if you won't go with me I'll stay here."

"I want to be with you so badly I can't go through with it. The thought of you being stuck here for because of me, that makes me sick." Misu told him.

"Then come with me! Okay? We can live together in New York and live in a little shoe box apartment together. Saki-senpai and Hayama-san will be with us isn't it romantic?"

"Do you love me?" Misu suddenly asked him.

"Of course I do ever since highschool."

"Then tell me the truth and not just something you think I want to hear. Are you 100% sure that you just want to be with me?"

"No one is 100% sure of anything. But I know you are the only one for me." Shingyouji told Misu

"I am that sure you're something special. That this is just the beginning for you. I never say it every day but I know you are."

"Wait a minute." The young man seems to know now what was his lover is intending to do.

"That you're going to do amazing things. But to get there, you got to have these experiences on your own." Misu holding the young man's hand, as his lover is now in tears.

"I—I don't know what you're talking about."

"I can't have to be there with you." says Misu.

"No! Wait! Are you breaking up with me?" Shingyouji said to him almost breaking down.

"I'm setting you free."

"Oh my God!"

"Do you know how hard this is for me? How many times I've tried to not to cry about this?"

"No! I'm not going. I'm not going, not without you." The young man told him as he tried to get out of the car but Misu stopped him.

"You don't have a choice. I can't come with you." Misu firmly told his younger lover.

"Well then I'll stay here …or I'll go wherever it is that you're going!"

"I'll go to Korea, I had intended to become an Army Medical Corps officer, where I intend to help wounded soldier."

"Oh my god! Wait a minute. You're joining the Army? Are you insane? You can get killed Arata-san I can't believe that this is happening now!"

"It's one of the places I knew you couldn't follow me. Look, you're going to get on that plane. Okay? And you're going to go to New York...And you're going to be successful...Without me. That's how much I love you. You know what we're going to do? Surrender. I know how hard that is for you because of how hard you hold on to stuff … But we're just going to sit here and we're just going to let go and let the universe do its thing and if we're meant to be together, then we're going to be together. Whether it's in a little shoe box apartment in New York or on the other side of the world. Okay? Will you do that for me? Will you surrender?"

Shingyouji cried harder and embraced his lover tightly.

"Arata-san I love you so much."

"You just don't know much I feel for you."

As Shingyouji is still in tears Misu started the engine and directly go to Narita airlines, Misu called his former rival to tell him that they are on their way to Narita airport. As they arrived there the young man is still motionless and did not dare to move. Misu grabbed him and forcefully let him move. As they reached the place Gii and Hayama are already waiting for them. Misu and Shingyouji are still not talking to each other but they steal a few glances, finally on the P.A system their attention are called as they need to board now on the plane. Misu told Gii to take care of Shingyouji while he's staying there.

"Shingyouji, be careful and don't talk to people you don't know ok?"

Shingyouji just nodded not answering his lover. Misu decides to ignore and turn his back and decide to leave the airport, as the young man seeing his lover going away he drops his luggage and shouted Misu's name.

"Arata-san!"

Shingyouji runs to him and hugs him one more time; the older man kissed him in his cheeks and give him something.

"Here take it."

"This is…"

"I was planning to propose to you after you graduate but I guess we'll leave it pending for now, I want you to wear this so that when you feel lonely just look at it and think that I am always there for you."

"I'll never said goodbye."

Misu finally walks away, trying to stop the tears from his face, this will be the first time he will not have the young man beside him, he won't show it to him for many years but he really did love Shingyouji and as possessive as he is he decide to set him free like a bird so that he would be able to have his dreams come true.

Inside the plane as they are ready to take off, Shingyouji keeps on crying with Hayama and Gii to comfort him.

"Nee Shingyouji, don't cry 2 years will be fast, you'll realize he'll just be there or when you get back to Tokyo everything will be back to normal."

"I know I just…"

"Shingyouji, he set you free because he loves you, though he was used to seeing you devoted to him, he realized how to put his selfishness in place."

Shingyouji is looking at the window, seeing the clear sky made him at least a little happy, this will be the first time he will not totally with Misu, compared to the time when he had waited for him to graduate Shidou to be together with his lover. Shingyouji will now learn to face the world alone without seeing him even once, not knowing what would lie ahead in his future once he set foot on an unfamiliar place.

_To know who I am before I know who I wanna be_ _and faith to take chances_ _to live like I see a place in this world _ _for me..._

* * *

**Sorry about the first one I kind of rush it since i need to know more things about the setting I will be using, I choose New York because I dream to go there, the only question is how can Shingyouji can cope up this will be the first time no Misu-Arata that would be with him and now that they decide to be in the different dide of the world where meeting even in special occasion would exist reviews are appreciated and thank you! ^^**


	2. Everytime

**NOTES: **This story had been haunting me, I know no MisuxShin moments and for hopefuls, It is really hard when you are in the process of adjustment I know how Shingyouji feels especially if you will have a boss that would make your life a living hell. A nice colleague who would try to cheer you up, the new guy he does not have any intention of being the third wheel I don;t know what could happen. Enjoy Chapter 2!

**TO JUNE: **Hope you enjoy this depressing story. ^^

* * *

It has been almost 5 months since Shingyouji, Gii and Hayama had arrived to New York, Shingyouji decide to rent a simple apartment where he is just living alone, he still have communication with Misu's parents who was very sad about the decision of their son but they had no choice and decide to just support what he really wants. The only thing the disturbed Shingyouji is Misu never tries to communicate with them even by letter, he is also disappointed that he never tried to call him, Shingyouji just think that maybe his older lover decide to do this so that the young man could concentrate on his own life.

The worst thing that Shingyouji is now enduring is his trainer at Gii's company who seems to enjoy making his life a loving hell. He is in his 40's and a Japanese as well but Shingyouji never had an idea why would that guy would hate him that much.

"Hey hobbit." The elder man called him.

"Eh?"

"Yeah, you."

"Coffee black no sugar."

Shingyouji just obediently do what the elder man told him as he laid the coffee in his table he introduced himself to other new employees.

"I am Ken Utada, I'll be in charge of you and will check you if you can't do things for this company, you are free to leave, and I won't waste time for people not willing to learn I don't care if you graduated with honors or if you're a friend of the son of the President of this company." He said it to them glaring at Shingyouji.

"You yentl." Calling Shingyouji which almost make the young man's temper to explode, but he decided to keep his composure since he does not want to be deemed unprofessional.

"Yes?"

"Get those booklets and distribute it to your colleagues."

"O-ok." As Shingyouji tried to carry the booklets he suddenly lost his balance and fell, Ken went near him but Shingyouji tried to stop him telling him his fine.

"I am not going to help you don't think it that way. I just want to give you a big New York welcome."

"Huh?"

"You don't belong here." Ken whispered to him. "Alright! Pick them up hobbit and go to your place now."

Shingyouji feels like hell when he is in the training room, when he got back home all he do is stare at the ring he wore around his neck and start to think about Misu.

_I miss Arata-san very much, I haven't heard from him in 5 months, maybe he is really giving me the space I need to be on my own, surrender right? I'm sure that's it. Gii and Hayama-san tried their best to cheer me up, living alone in this big city I wish he is with me now. After all these years seems like I am still in a nightmare especially that crazy trainer I don't know he always picked on me. I am not really happy…._

A new day arrive, Shingyouji decide to drop by Gii's office since he was reminded by Ken about the papers he needs to sign.

"Shingyouji, are you ok?"

"Yeah I'm fine, the training's good." Shingyouji lied to him.

"After Takumi's practice lets go out for dinner I know you have been busy with all the training and stuff."

"Oh sure."

After work, seems like Ken did not do anything to him so he was relieved and after work; he meet with Gii and Hayama as planned.

As they arrived at Sardi's which Gii treats them, while seeing the lovers affectionate with each other, Shingyouji seems to just played with his pasta.

"Shingyouji what's the matter?" Hayama asked him sounding very concerned

"Nothing."

"Is it about Misu?"

"I still haven't talk to him after I left Tokyo I don't know whats happening to him? I just feel like a fish out of water, his mom do efforts to call me once in a while and they even send me money for the apartment expenses, but it is still incomplete and now that place is not yet well decorated because I am destructed , Mr. Utada I can't really stand him he called me names makes me like I am his personal assistant."

"I see Tanaka-san really have that attitude since he had some work problems before especially in his family."

"Family?"

"He had recently divorced his wife and worse he can't see his only daughter maybe he is still living in misery." Says Gii

"I don't care about it I really hate him, I want to return to Tokyo like now."

"Shingyouji, this is just a start for you and I am with you along with Takumi we will support you."

"Gii-senpai. Anou haven't you heard anything about Arata-san maybe he is keeping in touch with you."

"No he does not contact us as well and that's the 50th time you ask me since we arrive here 5 months ago. Come on just eat and enjoy your food."

Shingyouji smiled and do what he was told. The next day Shingyouji ready for his training at the office as he tried to get a coffee he bump into someone and the coffee was spilled in his suit.

"S-sorry."

"It's ok." The man told him.

"Oh my what have I done let me help you."

"You're new here?"

"Yeah."

As the man talking to him he noticed his I.D and smiled at him.

"Shingyouji, you're a trainee here."

"Like that yeah."

"I'm Andrew, I am Ken's assistant but I rarely come up there unless he needs me too."

"I see, I better go ahead I might be late."

"As he hurriedly goes to the Training room, Ken called his attention and asks him to go outside.

"What is your problem?" Shingyouji suddenly ask him.

"I'm sorry?"

"Ever since I arrive all you become is a pain in butt, you call me names as if I am your slave why did you hate me that much?"

"I don't get what you're saying Dwarf."

"I am not a dwarf, not a hobbit nor a yentl I have a name Shingyouji-Kanemitsu, if you're doing this because of how miserable your life is don't vent it out on me nor to other colleagues, if you're frustrated with your life blame yourself not us! Because you're a train wreck!" Shingyouji shouted at him finally losing the composure he held for many months. "You know what us sitting here; listening to you I think you're threatened because we're the future you'll end up stuck in this place, in this place while all of us here will be more successful than you!

"Are you finish?"

"I uhm."

"Get out of my sight NOW!"

Shingyouji hurriedly went outside and goes to the elevator where he met Andrew again.

"Hey, going somewhere?"

"Anywhere, I just can't feel the stress now."

As they both go out of the office, they decide to stroll along the Central Park, Shingyouji sit by the fountain and browse all the pictures he had of Misu. He did not notice his friend is standing beside him.

"Who's that?"

"Uhm?"

"You're lover?"

"Y-yeah we haven't kept in touch, he decides to go in the Army Medical Corps, aiding wounded soldier."

"How noble."

"Actually it's kind of stupid." Shingyouji told him.

"I had alover back home when I started going in New York, We lasted six weeks."

"That's not going to happen to us! I'm not turning my back on him." Shingyouji told him defensively.

"Whoa. No one's saying you should. In fact, all I came over to say was: I admire what you did to Ken, it was actually feisty of you to say that to him."

"And now I am going to lose my job maybe I'll be deported back and worse all the things I had will all go to waste. I did not realize that I could actually say those things it's not like me. "

"Change is not a bad thing and a piece of advice you can't distract yourself because of him, you now in this place you should learn to face this new life, if you'll be miserable like that you will really die, hey how about we take a picture and you make new memories and.. friends like me."

Shingyouji smiled at him and they took picture of themselves, Andrew stands up and takes Shingyouji's hand so that he can show the young man the beauty of New York.

Weekends finally arrive Hayama decides to drop by his place so he could help him with the painting of the young man's place. As Hayama started on the other side Shingyouji still missing Misu paint a heart the Misu's name on it.

"What do you think? Am I being too obvious?" Shingyouji asked him.

"Still can't move on? He hasn't called you because he loves you, not because he has forgotten about you, your freedom is a gift he has given you accept it." Hayama told him as he is doing the painting on the young man's wall

"Who can't be? Imagine your life with someone for almost many years then he just decided on his own to live without me, I mean he can but I feel like its selfish of him not knowing my feelings and worse he does not think of even calling me. I know about that freedom and now it is really giving me severe loneliness" Shingyouji said to him leaning on the wall.

"How about we replace that sever loneliness with enjoyment Gii told me there is an Italian bakeshop here, we are planning to go out why not join us."

"I feel screwed as well, I shouted at Mr. Utada. And you don't mind going out at night? Especially dragging me with you, I mean you should enjoy your date with Gii-senpai alone."

"Oh he won't mind at least you can go with me when I get over excited with some things."

Shingyouji laughed at his former senpai's expression.

"We can arrange that but for now I have to do something."

Shingyouji hurriedly went out and asked Hayama to just stay in his place first and went to Gii's office to visit Ken since he knows he would normally stay in the office even in weekends. As he knocked on the door he saw Ken drinking scotch.

"What is it?" The elder man asks him.

"I uhm just want to say sorry I know what I did is so unprofessional, I should have learned to control my tantrums and…"

"I know what you mean, I am not picking on you, why I am this hard on you is because I know you really have a potential I just don't know why you don't exert the effort."

"I know I am not there yet." Says Shingyouji.

"Not even close, you get one chance in this life don't waste it, yes I am now divorced with my wife, can't see my only daughter but that doesn't stop me to work, so you are wrong thinking I used it as an excuse to bully you, I pick on you because you have something special, this training will take 2 years we can't play around this is the real world you are not getting younger, this time you need to learn how to endure suffering."

"I know what suffering is."

"But you don't know how to dwell on it, you don't have training today get back enjoy your weekends hobbit, but before you leave put ice on this glass."

Shingyouji smiled at him and so what the elder man told him, as he handed him his drink he left and bowed to him. Back at home, he was surprised that he had another visitor who is happily chatting with Hayama.

"Shingyouji look what I do to the place, though am done painting the other side of the wall."

"Thank you Hayama-san."

"I did not know you're redecorating." Andrew told him.

"Yeah we are, Shingyouji-kun I better go now Gii might be waiting for me Andrew-san nice meeting you."

"I thought I'll go with you." Confused of Hayma's intention leaving them together.

"I change my mind, besides I think I wasn't to have some quality time alone with my boyfriend, so I'll leave you two alone." Hayama smiled t them leaving and closing the door.

As Hayama left Andrew approaches Shingyouji and handed him an orchid. Shingyouji puts the flower in his vase and thanked his friend.

"Wow who could have thought that you'll get this wonderful place imagine I always need to travel 45 minutes just to see you here."

"45 Minutes? Just to see me?"

"Yup I am sitting with a crazy guy thinking he was Jesus and two German telling me they are lost." Andrew said to him which made Shingyouji laugh.

"Are you planning to write all over his name in your walls because I think that's not a good design for this kind of apartment, your guests might think that you're a crazy stalker of some guy."

"I hope it does not freak you out."

"No." Andrew approaches Shingyouji closer as held the young man's face he only gave him a wide eyed reaction. "I don't know but when I see you I want to kiss you."

"No!" Shingyouji gently pushed his friend. "You are a wonderful person but I have someone who I love and I will wait for him."

"Alright I will respect your boundaries, but I just want you to know that I like you so much." Says Andrew.

"He's always the one for me; I can't do something just because he is far away or maybe not wondering if I am still alive. i really don't want to hurt you, so I am already telling you i just want us to be friends."

"That guy is a lucky one, well I think I better go back see you at work and enjoy the orchids."

"I will." Andrew bid goodbye to him leaving Shingyouji alone in the four corners of his apartment.

Now alone again in the middle of the night, Shingyouji staring at the window seeing lovers together and, again staring at Misu's pictures, and suddenly looking at the ring the last gift the older man gave him holding it tightly, suddenly he breakdown into tears again, finally he stand up remembering what Ken told him about his life, Hayama reminding him Misu's sacrifice, he now decide to continue painting the his apartment removing Misu's name off the wall.

* * *

**Poor Baby Shin I don't know as well whats happening to Misu, I am still thinking, I was inspired of the song by a pop artist when I am writing this I will also post the song that inspired me with chapter 1, reviews are accepted hope you enjoy the story ^^ enjoy the song as well. you can check my profile for it.**


	3. A Change Would Do You Good

**NOTES: **Third Chapter is kind of lame sorry but this one I don't know how to describe in words but I can imagine Baby Shin having a makeover different from what he look like in Pure movie i just hope you enjoy this chapter. So last chapter Andrew confess to Shingyouji that he likes him but our baby is still confuse about Misu and no one has ever heard from him, seems like he is now in process of not thinking bout Misu until... Chapter 3 hope you enjoy

* * *

Shingyouji seems to be now enjoying his job, Ken had already been at least nice to him though he still call him different names, on his first assignment he was asked to make Business Report, and the young man is very overwhelmed being tasked for that kind of duty. In his apartment he busied himself in front of his laptop and started to do the report. Though there are times he seems to give up, with Gii's help and Andrew he was able to build it well, even Ken is very proud of what he had achieved. Andrew and Shingyouji though awkward being together after the incident at his apartment are still close to each other since Shingyouji know that the man did not mean what he had done and Andrew apologized to him so nothing had changed between them.

The only thing that irritates him some of his colleagues usually makes fun of his clothes, to the point that he almost walks out because he saw some of his colleagues looking at him. He goes to the washroom and look at his self, seeing nothing is wrong with what he's wearing. And with the upcoming Ball at a hotel he is more frantic what to wear.

_I know there is nothing wrong with my clothes but seems like people here are more fashionable than me, usually it's Arata-san that picks my clothes but now I am really having a hard time last time I shopped with Hayama-san and Gii-senpai I ended up picking nothing, now this ball is driving me crazy I know I had been in this place for many months now but I guess nothing change at all... _

Shingyouji went outside and to his surprise Andrew seems not to be busy so he approached him and ask his help.

"Shingyouji? You seem to be in trouble."

"More than in trouble. I want you to tell me the truth the way I look, and the way I dress what do you think about it?"

"Uhm… well you seem ok…"

Shingyouji stared at him seriously pushing him to tell the truth.

"You know part of the excitement why I want to go to New York is because I thought it would be a chance for me to start over, reinvent myself but still everything seems to be the same." Says Shingyouji.

"You know why you exactly feel the same?"

"Why?"

"Because you're dressing exactly the same, you're no longer in Tokyo, I hate to say this but life is different when you're in high school or in college, sometimes upgrade is needed even a bit."

"Look what do you expect me to do as if I can afford an entire new wardrobe?"

"Who says you have to pay for it." Andrew told him smiling.

"Come on let's get out of here."

"Hey we're still at work what do you think we're going?"

"I am about to change your life." Says Andrew

Shingyouji confuse of what his friend meant goes with him and went out of the office. As they went out they just took a cab and go to a building which are mostly consist of clothing stores and salon . As they enter a place Shingyouji was astonished since there's a lot of clothes that he had never seen before.

"How did you know about this place?"

"My friend own this company her name is Isabelle Klempt. She is a designer of Man's clothing line."

"Wait isn't it illegal to enter someone's place without permission and we even sneak in using the fire exit door."

"Don't worry oh there she is hey Isabelle!"

A woman in her 30's approached them, looking at Andrew very disappointed.

"Sneaking in my office again what? Need something from me?"

"Nope but he did." Andrew pointing at Shingyouji.

Isabelle looked at the young man and ecstatically approached him.

"You!"

"Eh?"

"Oh my look he's adorable perfect for my video shoot, we just need a little change in the hair and your brows a little weird oh you'll gonna love it! he will be perfect after wards come on!" Isabelle grabbed Shingyouji's hand and bring him to one of the rooms where he ask some help from her hairstylist and ask to do Shingyouji some changes first with his hair color that would suit her clothes and some facials. Shingyouji almost tried to run because he is never used to having someone to give him a makeover especially a person he just known today. but Andrew assured him Isabelle's people are one of a kind and also known in the streets in New York when it comes to fashion.

After what they had done to him, Shingyouji's eyes got wide seeing how he had really change, Isabelle dragged him to pick some clothes he will need for the video shoot, afterwards as a thank you his new friend gave him all the clothes he used for free especially the clothes he need to wear for the ball the company will be having.

"Wow! You look incredible. They say you haven't settled in New York City until you get your first makeover and that only take you like three months, I mean it takes me like six months. " Remarked Andrew.

"Really? Like you need one." Shingyouji joked at his friend; the young man suddenly noticed Gii and Hayama and approached him which was amazed on how he look now.

"Shingyouji-kun i did not almost recognized you" Hayama told his friend.

"Yeah, I am still not use to these feels weird actually." Says Shingyouji.

"Looks good on you." Says Gii.

"Thanks to Andrew and his friend."

"Speaking of Isabelle she wants to thank you, everyone praised the video seems like she almost faint when one of the famous designer notice her designs especially the one who had modeled it."

"I swear I'll never do that again."

"Oh by the way Shingyouji we have something to tell you about Misu." Gii told him.

"It's ok I accept it already, Gii senpai."

"Are you sure you don't want to hear about it."

"No, I'm glad he contacts you, too bad for me." Shingyouji smiled at him.

Everyone was able to enjoy the ball, and now back at office while they we're on the meeting Shingyouji's phone suddenly rinsg, it was Misu's mother calling him, though he wants to answer it, he decided to reject the call and goes on listening at the meeting, after the meeting Andrew and Shingyouji comes out of the room as Andrew returns to his own office the young man approaches him.

"Hey."

"What is it?"

"I was thinking why don't you come to my apartment I'll make you a dinner just a little thank you after what you have done for me."

"Sure tomorrow 9pm." Andrew smiled at him.

That day Shingyouji is busy reading the cook book and start slicing tomatoes to start the food he is preparing.

"Okay let's see…" As the young man continue to follow the instruction not noticing the stove is already open suddenly it went on fire which makes the young man scream he hurriedly grab a glass of water to lower it down but seems like he needs to pour more water, after the fire ran out smoke was all around his apartment, suddenly someone knock on the door and notice it was Andrew.

"Hi come in." Shingyouji smiled.

As they are now eating pizza which Shingyouji ordered since he failed making dinner they tell funny stories about each other.

"This is the first time I mess up when it comes to cooking seems like really a new me." Shingyouji told his friend.

"Alright so about this old Shingyouji tell me about something that you never want anyone to know."

"Secret? Uhm yeah I was 8 years old I had this crush it was a girl during that time so I gave her a love letter and you know what she did?"

"She rejected it." Andrew answered.

"Worse than that, she corrected every grammatical error in the letter and the characters I wrote wrongly. Okay so how about you?" Shingyouji now asking his friend.

"Ok when I was like 9 or 10, I have this hobby of planning weddings believe it or not I made my toys wed and divorce many times."

"That's funny actually that thing I told you I never told anyone of that not even Arata-san."

"Well just so you know, no matter how lovely this night is, I'm hands off. Just friends." Andrew smiling at Shingyouji. As they are still busy grabbing their pizza's someone suddenly knocked on the door.

"I think that's Hayama-san he usually would drop by here to invite me somewhere." Shingyouji stands up and open the he gave his visitor a wide-eyed look as if a ghost had visited him.

"A—arata san."

Misu just stared at the young man who is still speechless, the sight that had got his attention is Andrew who suddenly stand up, they exchange look and Shingyouji ended up looking at both of them and had his stare locked on the man that had never seen for many months.

* * *

**what could now that Misu is in New York, what could have happened to him that had kept him from communicating with Shingyouji now their relationship will be put on the test again? We'll know on chapter 4 **


	4. Barely Breathing

**NOTES: **Well this chapter really had dried my brains out, that i need to pour emotions that I had, I was not able to imagine I was able to finish this, II almost cried and if only i can smash my laptop I already did good thing I have a friend that helps me out to release the emotion I need.

**TO JUNE: THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR HELPING ME OUT YOU'RE SO SWEET AS ALWAYS. THIS STORY IS FOR YOU ^^**

* * *

Shingyouji almost break into tears seeing Misu, wanting to know if what he is seeing is real. He held the older man's face looking at him from head to toe.

"T-this can't be true." Shingyouji mumbled to his self.

"I'm here now." Says Misu suddenly his attention turned to an unknown acquaintance, Andrew tried to smile at him, Misu only glared in return.

"Did I interrupt something?" Misu asking Shingyouji still looking at the young man's colleague.

"Oh actually I am going home already, see you at work Shingyouji," Andrew puts his hand to the young man's shoulder only to be shoved by Misu.

"Woah easy dude! I am just saying goodbye to your boyfriend no harm done." Andrew told Misu who is still giving him a dagger-eyed look.

"Don't call me dude we're not even friends." Misu said coldly. Andrew just quietly walked away leaving Misu and Shingyouji alone.

"Arata-san."

"Is this how you spend your time while I am gone?" Misu asked Shingyouji.

"What are you talking about?"

"I was just gone for a while and I did not expect you're entertaining a new guy in your life, I bet he's better than me and to think you invited him in your place, I did not know New York could turn you into…" As Misu is about to finish his statements Shingyouji slapped him out of hatred and disappointed hearing those kind of words coming from the older man.

"When you left me I almost died, you let me live on my own, you decide without asking my opinion, and worse you did not even contact me not even once! And now you seem in front of me acted arrogant on my friend and thinking I am cheating on you? So what do you expect? Pretend everything is still ok"

"That's why I came here, to make things the way they are before I set you free 5 months ago." Misu said to Shingyouji trying to get close to

"You've no idea what I have gone through."

"You really want to try to compare-"Misu telling Shingyouji as the young man finished it. "Despair, the self-loathing… All my life what I only want is to be with you, all I ever ask from you was to be with me in this place but now I am already doing fine then you're here thinking I would hug you with open arms? You are my first love but I can't do this anymore." Shingyouji told him now breaking in tears. Misu tried to comfort his lover by embracing him tightly, the young man can't find a way to hugged him back, he knows he should be happy seeing Misu but all he felt is rage, anger, hatred.

"I am so sorry." Misu whispered to the young man's ear.

"Just leave me alone for now, I really don't feel like seeing your presence." Shingyouji told him.

"I would understand the space you're asking from me now, if you already have the heart to forgive me, you can find me here I am staying at this place." Misu handed him a piece of paper and finally leaves closing the door.

As Misu stepped into his room he felt so weak. His tears filling are his eyes. He felt so useless. He felt like this world is against him completely. He tried his hard to show the guy how much he loved him but he will end up hurting him. Misu buried his face in his palms. He fell on his knees. He could not hold it any longer. Finally… he broke down. The person named Misu Arata has finally broke down.

Misu cries as hard as he can. Tears after tears and sobs after sobs. His heart is being throbbed and ripped apart. Right now he wanted nothing but warmth of embrace. He felt so weak and too weak even to stand on his feet anymore. The burden that he has held felt heavier than ever. The things that happened. The things that he chose to be happened. It's suffocating him so badly. His whole body is aching. His head is spinning. He felt like is eyes were going to pop out.

The memories…

The pain…

The angst…

The rage…

They were all overpowering him. The memories that he has chosen to bury deeply inside is being dig up one by one. The noises, the screams, the loss… They are all here. Misu lost his sense but he is still striving to get them back. He felt anger engulfs his sanity away. This is all his faults. His own faults for choosing this way. He felt so mad of himself. His whole body is shaking. His eyes turned red with rage. Misu quickly stands up on his feet and pulled his hair.

"Aaaaarrrrgggggggggg!" He screams as loud as he could.

He proceeds deeper into the room and began to throw and breaking things.

The next day, Shingyouji went to his work, and approached Andrew about the incident last night, his friend smiled at him telling him everything is fine and he understand if Misu had acted that way.

"I just wonder."

"What?"

"How did he know where you lived here?"

"Maybe his mother told him."

"You said he never contacts his mother and even if she told him about this place New York is a big place, he can't just right away find your apartment." Says Andrew in a matter-of–fact tone.

"Are you implementing that Gii-senpai might have contact with him?"

"I am not saying it's just a hunch."

Shingyouji upon hearing his friend's statement, rushed to Gii's office that is in conversation with Hayama over the phone. His former senpai was surprised when the young man entered his office and closed the door for them to talk in private.

"Shingyouji-kun, are you ok?" Gii worriedly asks his former kouhai.

"Gii-senpai I know you're an honest so you'll answer my questions truthfully."

"What are you talking about?"

"Arata-san is here in New York."

"Shouldn't that be good news for you?"

"How did he know where I live?"

"HOW!"

"Shingyouji you need to calm down." Gii approaching his former kouhai.

"No I will not calm down! now I am upset, I am furious because of some couple of things and now I can see you're both lying to me!" Shingyouji shouted at him forgetting where they are.

"We told him to contact you but does not want to, believe me Shingyouji we don't mean to hide it from you."

"So when you invite me out or when I ask about him you always avoid the topic, should I be the one to know first what had happened to him? You kept it from me for 5 freaking months, you see me depressed and lonely almost dried my eyes out from crying and you did not do anything? Screw this. I AM DONE WITH ALL OF YOU!"

"Shingyouji stormed out of the office and had bumped to Andrew, seeing what he had done he approached Gii and Hayama.

"I am so sorry I did not know he would take it to heart. If I will be fired because of this I would really accept it Mr. Saki." Says Andrew.

"I'm not mad at you all you did is what I am not brave to do, Telling him the truth. We had hurt a guy that had treated us almost like a family, Andrew can you just leave us now?"

"Sorry Mr. Saki."

At the training room Shingyouji is staring blankly at the whiteboard scribbling it with force which broke the marker in the end.

"Hey I know you're upset now, I did not meant to do anything really." Andrew told him sincerely.

"Thanks, but I can no longer handle any more stress in my life now, just leave me alone please." Andrew leave the young man alone still motionless and quiet, he feels like everyone had ganged up on him leaving him behind the shadows.

After shift, As Shingyouji is leaving the office he bumped into Gii, he only bowed to him, his former senpai called his attention to talk to him in private.

"Are you going to fire me for being disrespectful?"

"No, I was beyond surprise at what you did this morning, Takumi was also shocked."

"I occasionally have rage hormones inside me."

"A scary one if I may add." Gii chuckled sitting in his chair.

"I am really sorry I acted like a selfish spoiled brat again, I should have really control my temper, and not blame you, maybe I should have just appreciate when I saw him in my apartment but I threw him out and now I feel really, really terrible."

"You know where to go. Saying sorry is not that hard." Says Gii smiling at him.

Shingyouji smiled back to hime and hurriedly went to the address that was written on the paper. As he reached the place he looked for the room number and as he had reached the place, he knocked on the door, Misu seems to look worse than he was when the young man saw him, he lets him enter his place. Shingyouji was quite surprise, and shocked seeing his entire things trashed, broken lampshade and 3 bottles of beer on the floor.

"Oh my." Shingyouji tried to clean some mess and looks at the older man's fridge for food but it's empty.

"Sorry it's all kind of messy." Misu told him trying to open another can of beer.

Shingyouji grabbed the beer out of his lover, telling him to stop. He even noticed a mail from MHC offering him to be part of the hospital. But it was all ripped up.

"Why did you tear the letter."

"Not interested, being in a hospital makes me bored actually I was thinking of applying outside of my profession."

"You know what? I get it. Something might have happened during your stay in Korea that made you You're pissed but you're here in New York now and MHC is one of the best hospital here you could improve your practice so get over it." Shingyouji telling Misu.

"I don't want to get over it! Okay?" Misu grabbing the beer to Shingyouji again.

"The only person that you're sabotaging is yourself." Shingyouji irritatedly told the older man.

"I DON'T CARE ABOUT SOME STUPID PRACTICE; I NO LONGER WANT TO BE A DOCTOR!" Misu shouted at him. Suddenly he breaks down in tears which made Shingyouji to give him a wide-eyed look, he had never seen this side of Misu not in many years.

"Did something happen in Korea that I need to know?" Shingyouji sitting beside the older man after he fixed his things.

"When I was there, everything started out fine, I worked in a hospital near the camp I even gain friends, I became close with this soldier he knows all about you, I always tell him about my lover who is currently residing at New York, the camp is a living hell for him even for me seeing those wounded soldiers, needing to tend their wounds, all I do is when I sleep, I dream of you, and when I wake, I long to hold you in my arms. If anything, our time apart has only made me more certain that I want to spend my nights by your side; wishing time would run so fast. Tragedy struck the place we were unexpectedly attacked by rebels, my friend who had become like my brother had been injured badly, I know I can still save him, there is a chance, I was the only doctor on duty at that time, I was so confident I could perform the operation on him, but… I failed… They said it was loss of blood that caused his demise, even so he died in my hands, I became a murderer in his family's eyes."

"I am so sorry I did not know I…" the young man still shocked of what he had heard about Misu's experiences.

"All I dream is to be a doctor like my parents to save lives but, what have I done?" Misu still shaking reminiscing all of what had happen to him while he is in Korea.

"Arata-san, as hard as it was, as terrible and unfair as the way things turned out, in the end everything will be ok, you'll get on with it I am with you, I'll help you out the way you had helped me. Before we met, I was as lost as a person could be and yet you saw something in me that somehow gave me direction again." Shingyouji suddenly pulls Misu and hugged him tightly, the older man seems to enjoy the warmth of his touch which sooths and calms him now. "This time it's my turn to return those things you have done for me."

After some days, Misu decided to continue his practice, in Manhattan with Shingyouji living with him again, his nightmares seems to have lessen, but not confident yet with regards in doing operation he can only be available for Consultations and Check-ups. As Misu is busy in his office he was visited by Gii, he seems to be happy for Misu.

"I want to thank you Saki, for taking care of Shingyouji when I was gone." Misu told him.

"You're more than welcome." Answered Gii

"I just want to ask you something Saki."

"What is it?" Gii asked his rival.

"Why are you helping me out?"

"We know ever since in high school we're rivals we seems to compete or even disagree with everything, but as brilliant as irritating as you are I also admire you Misu."

"I would take that as a compliment."

"So, not yet ready to use scalpels and other hospital instruments?"

"Not yet Saki, I don't want to commit any mistake, besides there's a lot of known surgeon here so that's the least of my problem."

"Well I better go ahead I will pick up Takumi from work, you how he hates when I am late." Gii bid his rival goodbye. As Gii leaves Misu's phone beeps, he received a text from Shingyouji telling him his training will end up in an hour and asked him to wait for him so they eat outside together. Misu only wear a smile on his face back to his paper works.

Shingyouji's training ended up earlier than usual so he decides to visit Misu in the hospital, He and Andrew are still good friends who is now supporting hi renewed relationship with Misu, besides his colleague is currently dating a College Student from NYU who he had known when he attended a concert.

As Shingyouji is fixing his self in the mirror of his car. He is very irritated, at the vehicle in front of him, his mood was enlighten up a bit when he received a text from Misu asking him to hurry up. As the young man is still driving he received another text from the older man asking where he is.

He replied **ON MY WAY** still driving not seeing a stop sign and a truck come straight at him, it crashes into the driver's side of his car.

* * *

**Second time I put Baby SHin in an accident though i don;t have intention to hurt him, I know this will make sense I promise so I hope you enjoyed it reviews are much appreciated, sorry for some grammars still improving it only end ^^ MHC is a hospital in Manhattan i abbreviated it because its kinda long for me LOL!**


	5. What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger

**NOTES: ** It's really hard to do a storyline when it comes to hospital scenes, Its kind of risky if you asked me, but I visualize myself as someone trying to conquer his fears and that's how I made this next chapter.

**to nikki: **i am so flattered with your message in my email thank you so much!

**to june: **you're one of the few person that had been with me all along, I cannot continue this story without your encouragement.

**I ALMOST FORGOT TO PUT THIS ON MY NOTES, I DO NOT OWN TAKUMI-KUN NOR THE PAIR, JUST THE STORYLINE AND SOME ADDITIONAL CHARACTERS HERE'S CHAPTER 5 ENJOY.**

* * *

Misu, began to worry, he knows Shingyouji should have already arrive he keeps on texting him but there was no reply, when he had called his phone it was always directed to his voicemail. He called the place where his lover works, the receptionist told him Shingyouji left an hour ago, he can no longer calm down, he tries to call Gii but to no avail he can't reach his former rival as well same with Hayama. The older man decides to just focus on his papers.

His concentration we're all cut out when a nurse called his attention telling him about a guy that had rushed to the hospital because of a car accident, Misu who is hesitant to aid them goes outside his office. As the patient is being taken out of the ambulance Misu's face had become paled seeing who the victim was.

He hurriedly approached the man covered in blood.

"S-Shingyouji."

He tried to held the young man's face but he is shaking badly, he feels like the place are all in black, he began to remember everything that had happened again in the camp, seeing his friends eyes looking at him when he was injured, the blood that had stained his hands, the anger and rage he saw throught the soldier's and finally visualizing Shingyouji looking at him in his eyes covered in blood telling Misu to save him.

"Doctor."

"Huh?" Misu's was finally backed in reality when one of his nurses called him. He looks at the young man and asked the nurse to bring him to the emergency room one of them putting oxygen to the young man's mouth. As they enter the place he examines the young man's state trying to hold his composure still can't believe seeing him in that way.

"What's his blood pressure?" Misu asks his assistant

"60 over 40 Doctor."

"There is a problem doctor."

"What is it now?" Misu worriedly asks his nurse.

"Dr. Evans and Dr. Watson is still in the surgery room, and Dr. Burke is on leave."

Misu was shocked to hear that there would be no available doctors to aid his lover, the scars of his past is one of the reason he never went on that place but now the situation is different, he needs to save the young man, the one that he loved the most.

"I will do the surgery." Says Misu.

"Huh? But Doctor that could be a problem. You need to have the Attending Doctor's Permission."

"I will take full responsibility of the consequences. Check the position of the handle" Misu said firmly.

The nurse do what Misu had said but she is still worried about Misu's decision since this was not his line of duty in the hospital he notice his assistant still not moving.

"What are you still doing hurry up! Don't stand just stand there and help me prepare the things for the surgery." As the nursed leave Misu stared at Shingyouji's unconscious body.

_This time I can't let you die, I won't allow you to leave…._

At the operating room, Misu is really sweating hard, but if no one could help Shingyouji he should be the one to do it, he asks for the things he needed to do the operation, the nurse is still worried because she knows that could both caused them their jobs if this would know especially by the head doctor. Misu still tries to do the operation, knowing he can't stop this now, one mistake he knows he can lose Shingyouji forever. After some hours the older man was able to do the surgery successfully, he was able to sigh in relief and hurriedly ask the nurse to bring Shingyouji to ICU.

After the operation Misu went to the washroom, even if Shingyouji had survived the surgery, he still don't know if his lover could get through, he looks in the mirror to clean up and hurriedly stayed at Shingyouji's side it was almost midnight when he drifted into his sleep, while waiting for the young man to wake up.

The next day Misu's sleep was cut off when he heard his phone alarmed. Misu stands up and saw the young man not awake yet, he decide to grab something for breakfast but before he leaves he kissed the young man's forehead.

Outside he saw Gii and Hayama waiting outside looking worried when they had heard what had happened to Shingyouji.

"How is he?"

"He's now in stable condition, but he hasn't woke up yet. You could go inside and see him."

"Misu is it true? You did the operation?" Gii asks him.

"Yes I did. I'll just grab something to eat." Misu walked away leaving Hayama and Gii to enter Shingyouji's room, as he grabbed bread from the canteen, and returned to his office one of the nurses approached him and tell him that the head doctor wants to see him in his office.

Misu did what he was told and went to see the Head, as he enters the place he was asked to sit down.

"So you've heard."

"Yes, you know what you have done is very dangerous, but I am proud of how you took risk and saved that man."

"I am sorry if I did not ask permission about this."

"Why should you apologize, it's our mission to save people's lives, and that is your duty as well, I know you still carry that emotional baggage inside you but you can face it, when you saw him in grave danger it triggers you're mind to face your fear."

"Thank you."

"I am proud to have you as one of the doctors here in this hospital; I am looking forward for what you will still do in the future. But i just have one question why did you decide all of a sudden to so the operation?"

"People do crazy things especially when they're in love." Misu told his Head Doctor smiling at him.

"I'm glad you did."

Misu shakes hand with the elder man and went outside, he decides to drop by his office first and continue his paper works, suddenly Gii and Hayama approached and told him they are both leaving and will come back on the next day. Misu decide to finish his tasks a little faster so that he can go inside the young man's room.

It was 7pm when Misu went back to check his lover's condition, he noticed all the gifts that we're given to him for and prayers for him to get well.

"Did you know how afraid I was; I thought I am going to lose you, what I was just thinking at that time is I need to do everything to save you, I was afraid I might end up the same as what had happened before," Misu held Shingyouji's hand. "What else can I do so that you'll wake up already? Staying longer in our hospital that's a lot of bills you know, I can't even concentrate on working. "He had now his tears flowing in his face tightly holding the young man's hand. "I love you so much Shingyouji."

Shingyouji seems to hear his words and slowly opened his eyes; he looks around and sees Misu crying in front of him.

"Arata-san?"

"Shingyouji?" Misu's face enlightened seeing his lover gained consciousness.

"I won't die yet so you should not cry, I told you we can get through this right? You had saved me."

"Listen, I'll just have one of nurses to check up on you, I'm glad your awake now." Says Misu.

"Wait just stay here with me, can you tell that words to me again?" Shingyouji pleading the older man.

"Baka! I'll just stay here but I will no longer repeat what I have said." Misu responded to him which Shingyouji weakly smiled at him.

"I was frightened thinking I could not make it." Says Misu

"But you did, I won't be here now talking to you if you failed. I can never leave you alone, besides you can't get rid of me that easily." Says Shingyouji.

"I won't even allow that to happen." Misu said to him smiling. "When I saw you covered in blood I don't know what to do and worse no surgeon was available to attend you, I decide to take matters in my hand, but what if I made a mistake, I can never forgive myself if I will be the cause of your death."

"I know you can do it, because when you love someone you'll make sure that you'll do anything for him." Says Shingyouji.

"You're talking too much you to think you just wOke up."

"I am just happy everything is alright now maybe it's time for us to forget everything in the past and decide to face our future." Shingyouji told him.

"Our future" Misu leaned to kiss Shingyouji in his lips filled with love, he can't wait for Shingyouji to be released out of the hospital and he had something now in mins that he knows Shingyouji would be surprised.

_How high is the price of love? If love were standing in front of me and asked me: "What are you ready to give for me? - I don't know what I would say; wait, maybe I'd asked: "What have I done to you? Why did you jerk me around like that? And then I'd shake him till his thoughts get whirled around like mine do. A storm in a glass of water. And still: Whatever happens and whoever sent my feelings to war: I still believe in this power of love. No matter how it hurts, it is the greatest feelings and believe it or not I had given everything for love. We are destined for each other; the world can end but at least I am not alone. I have you._

* * *

**_WHEW WELL, I THANK THE GERMAN SOAP OPERA WHERE I HAVE SEEN THIS POEM, THOUGH BUT THIS REALLY STRUCK ME HARD I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS ONE AND THANKS FOR CONSISTENTLY READING MY STORIES, WISH ME LUCK NEXT WEEK FOR MY FINALS ^^ AND I WILL NO LONGER STOP WRITING BECAUSE WHENEVER I SAY I WOULD TIME HAD BEEN KIND TO ME AND HAD GIVEN ME NOT SO HECTIC SCHEDULES, THAT HAD GIVEN ME MORE TIME TO CREATE STORIES ^^ REVIEWS ARE OPEN NO HATERS PLEASE ^^ I JUST HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS_**


	6. You're The One That I Want

**NOTES: I know it had took a long time for me to update this, I became so busy at works and just finish our finals, I have always dream of a different type of engagement which i had watched a couple of times, this is kinda challenging for me to write actually but I still hope you appreciate it. I kept it as it is I don;t have any words to say actually.**

**to june: thanks for helping me out and for the tips ^^**

**to akkadia: I am glad for the review you have given me i will promise to improve more ^^**

**serenity-chan: yes a happy ending for both of them ^^**

**I DO NOT OWN TAKUMI-KUN NOR THE PAIR JUST THE STORYLINE AND THANKS TO THE INSPIRATION FOR MY PROPOSAL ^^ FINAL CHAPTER AND HOPE YOU ENJOY ^^ **

* * *

Two months have passed since the accident that befell on Shingyouji. All of the therapy paid off as he had now fully recovered and lived on his days again. Misu on the other hand had turned over the new leaf and decided to cherish every moment ...

The young man had returned back to work, welcomed by Gii who prepared a party for him and thankful of Shingyouji being alive and well, Misu was able to visit him in his office despite his busy schedule, the previous truce between Andrew and Misu had ended as well and they are now having some friendly conversation with each other.

"Seems like your accident had cause Misu to change." Gii commented.

"I think it was his choice as well , I am just happy we are being successful in the path we are now taking, and being together again." Says Shingyouji.

"Nee Gii, I thought we're going to tell something to Shingyouji-kun." Hayama told his lover.

"You did not tell him while we're visiting him in the hospital? I thought he knew already?" Gii asking Hayama.

"What do I need to know?" Shingyouji curiously asked the both of them.

"Alright well, Gii and I are finally getting married!" Hayama excitedly told him showing his ring to his young friend.

Shingyouji suddenly sighed sadly and Hayama began to worried and ask him with his sudden reaction.

"Shingyouji-kun what's wrong?" asks Hayama.

"Hayama-san, Gii-senpai, I so glad this is all happening for the two of you, I really am I don't think Arata-san doesn't want to marry me." Shingyouji told his former senpais.

"It's the 21st Century already why not ask him that question if he can't do it himself." Gii suggested.

The young man just sighed again heavily and then keep looking at Misu still talking to Andrew suddenly he noticed Misu answering his phone call excusing his self, the young man never lose his sight of his lover, and he began to daydream wedding march, petal showered on the floor and finally seeing Misu smiling at him asking for his hand where they dance together like there is no one watching, he was snapped out of reality when he noticed Gii, Hayama, Andrew especially Misu looking at him seems like he blurted out something that he shouldn't have that caught their attention.

"Shingyouji did you just ask me to marry you?" Misu asked him raising his eyebrow.

"What? No I didn't was it out loud? Hayama and Gii nods at him. "No I didn't really. Oh my god!" Shingyouji feeling embarrassed decided to go out of Gii's office and left the party excusing himself that Mr. Utada might need him in the training room, Andrew decides to follow his friend chuckling leaving just the three of them having a conversation.

"Misu you know what you should do." Gii whispered to his former rival.

"You could have done it when he was in the hospital." Says Hayama.

"I could give you some suggestions how about having a candlelight dinner for two, then you can sing him a song and in that moment ask him that BIG question." Gii suggested.

"Saki I don't sing." Misu objected his rival's idea.

"How will you make it special?"

"I am still thinking of that, I need a significant place if I am going to propose to him." Misu suddenly glanced at Shingyouji now doing his errand clumsily drops a cup of coffee to his boss. "Or not for now."

"Better make it fast; we don't know what could happen in the future." Gii suggested to Misu.

As they got back home, Shingyouji is still embarrassed at his actions; he can't even look at the older man's eyes. He knows that if Misu will propose to him there won't be any problem at all besides his lover's family is very fond of him especially his mother. The only thing that bother Shingyouji is does Misu wants it as well? He knows he is not that great as Sagara-senpai or even as wonderful as Hayama-san, but hearing about marriage he wishes that Misu and he would also go on that stage on settling down. He remembered months ago Misu mentioned to him he was planning to propose to the young man, but does his lover already changed his mind? Shingyouji's thoughts were full of worries.

The next day, Misu is also having a dilemma of proposing to Shingyouji though he had planned it before, he realize the huge difference between them especially for Shingyouji who had a childish nature inside him, can he really stand if the young man will talk to him all day or he also have his patience when it comes to his lover eccentric's nature and worse is they have different outlook and opinions, this made him doubt that this could make them apart once they get married, especially Shingyouji as well is sometimes the type of person who could be arrogant to listen to him.

Misu opened the door to their apartment, noticing Shingyouji cooking for their dinner, when the young man noticed him he runs on to him smiling, informing what he had made for them. Misu is wondering what the young man wants to talk about when he was asked that they need to have a conversation about a very important matter.

"Nee Arata-san, have a seat please. I have to ask you something." Shingyouji still don't know how to start the conversation with his lover. "Ok I know we had been together for many years, and though we had almost hit the bottom this past months we're still together right? I remember when you had also told me about proposing to me if I haven't pursue New York"

"OK?"

"Well uhm Gii-senpai, suggested to me maybe I should be liberated and ask you to marry me." Shingyouji laughed trying to cover how nervous he is. "Arata-san, do you want to be with me I mean as your longtime partner? I mean do you want to marry me?" the young man finally asking Misu.

"Should I answer that question?" Misu asking him looking through his lover's eyes. "Ok what if we get married, and we have our own house, by chance we we're able to adopt our own child, Shingyouji I know you had changed from the time I see you back in Shidou, but can you be able to adjust on the level of maturity of being married?

"Eh?"

"I know you so well, you still carry tantrums, and you can be childish in ways that could irritate me sometimes, are you willing to change it?"

"I uhm been trying to really change of course I'll still have those good moments and bad moments, but I can be mature like Hayama-san or refined like Sagara-senpai." Shingyouji answered Misu.

"I know how hard you tried, I am just afraid you'll go back to your old self I can't blame you, I had left you before that you have this pain of being wanted, what if we quarrel and ended up like your parents? Do you know how different we are at each other?" says Misu with seriousness in his tone.

"Can I promise you something?" Shingyouji trying to begin just to convince Misu how he can be worth of the older man but suddenly something made him realize and retracted what he had said, "No, this is what you get, an annoying guy still childish inside, and this guy in front of you who has so much love for you." Shingyouji begins to cry. "But if you're expecting more, and that's not what you want then you need to be honest with me and be honest with yourself, the sooner the better. No matter what you have done you know I was there for you, when I learned about what happened to you I understand you and accept you, I even lose my life just for you to be able to be back to your old self. I guess that's not important to you its ok forget it, can I go first to sleep? I don't feel like having dinner tonight." Misu feels remorse on what he had told the young man making him realize he is not the guy today without Shingyouji, he looked at his pocket where he had bought the engagement ring he had actually been with him while the young man was still hospitalized. He suddenly noticed a set of sports magazines and smiled giving him an idea how to make it up to his lover.

At the office Shingyouji went to work without Misu by his side, at first he thought the older man had left him after what he had said but seeing Misu's suitcase and clothes still on their apartment that at least ease his worries, thinking his lover was just needed at work on an earlier schedule. Suddenly Gii approaches Shingyouji.

"Gii-senpai."

"Shingyouji, can you go with me at Manhattan Plaza Health Club?"

"Uhm ok." Shingyouji without asking why they need to go there do what Gii had told him, as they had reached the place Gii suddenly bid him goodbye and leave him alone.

"Gii-senpai."

"Just go inside." His former senpai told him.

Shingyouji do what he was told and suddenly he see unknown faces giving him white roses as he passed by, as he walks towards the pool, Shingyouji gasped seeing a group of Synchronized Swimmers doing a routine, they were wearing red suit and seems to entertain the young man, Shingyouji was amazed especialy when one of the group were able to do a heart shape, like a child Shingyouji had clapped his hands in amusement, Shingyouji's enjoyment was more enticed when he saw Misu in a white suit walking on the pool leaving the young man speechless, Misu jumps over and swim towards his lover.

"A-arata-san why did you swim wearing a suit?." Shingyouji confusedly asked him.

"Try not to ruin this will you?" Misu told the young man.

"I uhm ah…"

"Promise you will never say a word I know you can't do that but promise me." Misu told him holding Shingyouji's hand.

"I promise."

"Eversince I hold this hand, I know I have held this a million times before, I realized we have each other to balance things out, I also want you to know you do that for me too every day, loving you and being loved by you makes everything better, so…." Misu is also nervous on how to pop out the question to Shingyouji so he took out a black box with a ring in his suit for the young man to know what he wants to tell him.

"Can I speak now?" Shingyouji asking him.

"No."

"Huh?"

"You haven't answered my question yet." Misu telling his lover.

"I haven't heard you asking me anything."

"You already know what is it? Just answer me YES or NO?"

Shingyouji nodded, as Misu slipped the ring into the young man's finger, he held his lover's face kissing him passionately and embracing him tightly. "Arata-san I love you." Shingyouji said happily to his lover.

"Why do I need to do foolish things just to always please you." Misu told him.

Shingyouji ignored and just hugged Misu, this time he is no longer a daydream it is happening right then and there. The young man suddenly have all the flashbacks that had happened between them, when they first met, the Tanabata event, the time Misu and him were separated and now that all the past had gone its is now the time to face their own future.

* * *

**sorry about this guys, but i hope you had enjoyed it I know i had make it short chapter but still thank you very much for reading and for the reviews ^^ **


End file.
